Dinny the Piper
===============
In the year ninety-eight, when our troubles were great
It was treason to be a militian
And the Black-Whiskers said that we'd never forget
And our history shows there were Hessians
In these troubled times, oh, it was a great crime
And murder, it never was riper
Near the town of Glensheed, not an acre from Meath
Lived one Dinny Byrnes, a piper
Neither wedding nor wake would be worth a shake
If Dinny was first not invited
For, at squeezin' the bags or emptyin' the kegs
He astonished, as well as delighted
But, in these times, Dinny could not earn a penny
Martial Law had him stung like a viper
And it kept him within, `til the bones of his skin
Grinned through the rags of the piper.
Well, one day it did dawn, as Dinny crept home
Back from a fair at Lafangen
When, what should he see, from the branch of a tree
But the corpse of a Hessian there, hangin'
Says Dinny, "These rogues have good boots. I've no brogues"
He took hold of the boots with a gryper
And the boots were so tight, and he pulled with such might
Legs and all came away with the piper
Ah, then Dinny did run, for fear o' bein' hung
`Til he came unto Tim Haley's cabin
Says Tim, from within, "I can't let ye in
Ye'll be shot if ye're caught out there rappin'"
So he went to the shed, where the cow was in bed
He began with a wisp, for to wipe her
And they lay down together in seven foot o' heather
And the cow took to huggin' the piper
Well, the day, it did dawn and Dinny did yawn
Then he stripped off the boots from the Hessian
And the legs, by the Law, he just left in the straw
Then he slipped home with his new possessions
Now, breakfast bein' done, Tim sent his young son
To get Dinny up like a lamplighter
When the legs,there, he saw, he flew up like a jackdaw
And said, "Daddy! The cow's et the piper!"
"Ah, bad luck to that baste, she'd no musical taste
To eat such a jolly ould chanter
A ph�d raig a mhic, take a lump of a stick
Drive her off , down the road and we'll canter"
Well, the neighbours were called; Mrs. Kennedy bawled
She began for to humbug and gyper
And in sorrow they met, and their whistles, they wet
And, like divvils, lamented the piper
Then the cow, she was drove a mile or two off
`Til they came to a fair at Killaly
And there, she was sold, for four guineas in gold
To the clerk of the parish, Se�n Daly
Then they went to the tent, where the pennies were spent
Tim bein' a jolly ould swiper
And who should be there, playin' "The Rakes of Kildare"?
Just your bold Dinny Byrnes, the piper
Ah, then Tim gave a jolt, like a half-drunken colt
And he stares at the piper like a gamuck
"I thought, by the Powers, for the last eight hours
Ye were playin' in the ould cow's stomach"
Well, when Dinny observed that the Hessians bein' served
Began just to humbug and gyper
Oh, in grandeur, they met and their whistles they wet
And, like divvils, they danced `round the piper